i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
