im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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