Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
