Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize