She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm always down for nudity.
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