the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
