yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize