I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
