last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
