if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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