he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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