doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
