It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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