I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my sisters under your porch take her home
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize