wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
