considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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