At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
