well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
