Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
