I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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