If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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