and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I believe in your delicious
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize