pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
