then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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