i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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