idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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