hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
