I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
