I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
