You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
