I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
