Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he shaved USA in his pubs
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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