If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
