hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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