I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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