I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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