i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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