I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We have started to decorate penises.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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