i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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