Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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