I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think people are normalizing furries
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
