Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
