She announced her abortion via fbk
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
