I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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