I'm going to jail i love you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
