from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Randomize
