Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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