you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
