Can i not drive my cunt home
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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