He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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