Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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