Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
