I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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