I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
