I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
