Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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