Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Randomize
