Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
