Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
