I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize