He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize