Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
