I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
