No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
as a side note pls kill me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
