If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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