Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
