He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
