He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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