how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
