I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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